Can we work to
instill confidence in children by utilizing the techniques of the Dog
Whisper? Ok, bear with me here. I’m not suggesting that teaching children is
like training dogs but I do wonder if we can apply some of the points that
Caesar Milan, the Dog Whisperer, utilizes in order to build confidence in our
children. Caesar asserts that we need
calm, assertive energy to work with dogs.
I think the same holds true for working with children. He encourages us to “imagine someone who
inspires confidence in you – a parental figure or mentor; a famous leader or
hero; even a fictional character. How do
they carry themselves, and what in them inspires confidence in you?” Then he suggests that we emulate that
individual. “Stand like they would
stand. Move like they would move.” (www.cesarsway.com/)
If we teach children to act more confident I believe they will learn to
be more confident.
So what does
that mean? Can we really teach
confidence? Liz Morrison, LCSW, suggests
that we can and outlines some ways to increase a child’s confidence.
Let Them Make
Decisions. Encourage decision making at
home and then children can learn to apply these skills to larger decisions
elsewhere. Help them learn from the
process and discuss what happened if things didn’t work out as intended.
Encourage
Positive Participation. Let children participate
in things that interest them rather than pushing them into activities. Learning to fail is valuable but succeeding
at activities helps develop self-esteem.
Set Achievable
Goals. Help children set short term goals that are achievable and then help
them stay accountable in order to be successful.
Focus on the
Positives. “Positive attention from a parent or adult figure is a great way to
build confidence.” (Liz Morrison)
Find the
Evidence. Help children break down the
details of their experiences and examine what is really true. Is it true that they have no friends? Is it true that he will pass out if he gets
up to bat? Is it really true that
everyone is laughing at her?
Carol S. Dweck,
Ph.D., a leading researcher on why people succeed and how to foster
success, says that “if parents want to
give their children a gift, the best thing they can do is to teach their
children to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, and keep
on learning. That way, their children
don’t have to be slaves of praise. They
will have a lifelong way to build and repair their own confidence.”
I believe
helping to instill confidence in children is not just the job of parents. Research from the Search Institute indicates that young people need the support of
adults outside of their families. “The
more love, support, and adult contacts a young person has, the more likely it
is that he or she will grow up healthy.”
(http://www.search-institute.org/) The bottom line is that we can integrate
information from the Dog Whisperer, a social worker, and a college professor
(as well as many others) to be intentional about helping young people succeed –
and that it’s a task that needs all of us.
Jackson County
4-H helps children and youth develop confidence through long-term involvement
in clubs, learning to do oral presentations and perform music, learning
independence through overnight camping experiences, and through the
experiential education method that emphasizes processing and critical thinking. Building confident leaders is a goal in 4-H.
Learn more about
how we’re empowering young people in our community with skills to lead for a
lifetime at jackson4-h.blogspot.com or contact me directly at heather_gordon@ncsu.edu
or 586-4009.
